


Alas Poor Nessie

by HelloHeadquarters



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:27:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24843784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloHeadquarters/pseuds/HelloHeadquarters
Summary: Tae Joon has a debug Nessie. Elliott has a bad idea. Then he has a good one.Shame the bad idea was still in play.
Relationships: Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Mirage | Elliott Witt
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	Alas Poor Nessie

**Author's Note:**

> For Chini.

"This doesn't make any sense. How did this happen? This wasn't supposed to happen, I don't know how to fix it. I- I can't even understand this. Help me!"

Tae Joon grabbed the stuffed Nessie from his desk and squished its soft nose up against the screen of his laptop, which currently displayed a jumble of erratic code.

"What the fuck does any of this mean?!"

He pulled the Nessie back and turned it to face him. "If you have any answers I'd love to hear them."

The Nessie stared back in silence. 

"You're no good."

"Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"

Tae Joon rolled his eyes as he placed the toy back down on his desk. "Go away, Elliott."

"No. I heard the fevered ramblings of my genius boyfriend and thought I'd be nice and give poor old Nessie here a break." He leaned over and scooped the soft toy up, booping it on the snout. 

"She's useless anyway," Tae Joon grumbled with a wave of his hand.

Elliott clutched Nessie to his chest tightly, his face a picture of shock. "How _dare_ you," he seethed. He raised the toy to eye level. "Don't listen to the mean, grumpy hacker. I still love you."

Tae Joon just muttered quietly under his breath as Elliott put the toy down and began to search through his pockets. "Bought you something anyway, you angry little thing you."

Tae Joon looked over. "Is it properly written code? Or a brick?"

Elliott blinked at him. "Nothing so drastic but almost as clever. I, uh, I think." He placed a circular disc about the size of a saucer on Tae Joon's desk.

"What is this?"

Elliott smirked at him. "Push the button and find out."

With apprehension born of experience of Elliott's 'surprises' in the past, Tae Joon gently tapped the small green button on the side of the disc. A small, flickering hologram of Elliott about a foot in height appeared from the centre, winking and smiling. Tae Joon took it in for almost a full minute before turning to Elliott.

"Thank you?" he chanced.

Elliott frowned at him. "It's a debug decoy! You know, for when poor Nessie here just isn't cutting it. Don't get me wrong, she's an invaluable tool I get that, but this guy, well, this guy comes pre-programmed with over a dozen motivational phrases!"

"Oh god," Tae Joon moaned, running his hand over his face.

Elliott leaned over him and waved a hand in front of the mini decoy.

 _"Hey good looking! You got this!"_ the decoy piped up in a tinny version of Elliott's own voice. 

Tae Joon dropped his forehead onto the desk and let out a little sob.

_"Keep going champ!"_

Elliott screwed up his nose. "Alright, I'm sensing that you _don't_ love it," he said as the hologram began to do a small, swaggering dance.

Tae Joon took a deep breath. Great. Now not only was he was frustrated and angry but also he felt guilty too. 

"No," he said, bringing his head back up. "Really, it's good, I'm just... I'm just tired and like you said, grumpy. I'm sorry Elliott."

Elliott softened a little. "Maybe take a break then? You're not going to get anything done yelling at a soft toy, and you look fried, man."

"Thanks."

"In a totally hot and sexy way."

As if struck by sudden inspiration, Elliott moved closer and began to gently knead the base Tae Joon's neck with his thumbs. He leaned down so his lips were level with Tae Joon's ear. "And if you're feeling frustrated, there _are_ ways to fix that."

Tae Joon felt himself suddenly tense slightly in the best way possible. Elliott was right. He could use a break, a chance to work off some of the tension. Elliott's hands slipped over his shoulders and down his chest as Elliott began an assault on his neck with his mouth. Tae Joon rolled his shoulders to shake Elliott off and got to his feet.

Elliott pouted at him.

Tae Joon smirked at him. "If we're doing this, were doing it on the bed. I still have carpet burns on my knees," he said, dragging his shirt over his head. 

Elliott smiled wickedly at him. "My bad." He went to follow Tae Joon, pausing only to turn Nessie so she was facing the wall.

It wasn't long before they were a tangled mess, sweating and panting, all hands and lips and teeth. The air was filled with sighs and moans and curses, and the creak of the bedsprings.

_"You're the best!"_

Tae Joon paused, sweaty hair falling into his eyes as he looked up at Elliott, who had also stopped to look embarrassed.

"I... uh... well I forgot to turn off the - Hold on, I'll be right back."

Elliott hopped off the bed and almost fell running in his haste to turn off the decoy. 

_"Hey handsome, looking sharp!"_

"Elliott..." Tae Joon began impatiently.

"I'm trying, the button's stuck!"

_"Come on, nearly there!"_

Tae Joon groaned behind Elliott, dropping himself back on his bed and throwing a pillow over his face.

"I'm coming! I mean, no, wait, I mean I've almost got it, I mean, I'll be right there Tae," Elliott babbled frantically. 

_"Keep going champ!"_

Giving up, Elliott tossed the whole thing out of the window. They could both hear it shouting distant words of encouragement the whole way down, followed by the crunch and shatter as it hit the ground. Decoy Elliott let out one last stuttering, slowed attempt at motivation before dying completely.

Elliott clapped his hands together and turned back to the bed. "Right, where we're we?"

Tae Joon threw the pillow at him. "If you think that... that... oh... oh my... " He trailed off, his eyes a sudden picture of clariry. "I've got it!" Tae Joon leapt off the bed and rushed past a mildly confused and still vaguely aroused Elliott to begin tapping away furiously at his laptop.

"Um, Tae?" Elliott said, watching as his so wonderful and _completely naked_ boyfriend bent over in front of him.

"Don't even think about it, Witt," Tae Joon replied, still typing frantically.

Elliott sighed and rested his bare ass on the edge of the desk. "Fine."

For a moment he just stood there, idly admiring the view as Tae Joon became lost to him as the code finally started coming together and making sense. 

Then the door burst open. 

"This damn thing nearly hit me on the head Wi- Oh god fellas, you never heard of putting a tie on the door? Jeez!" Ajay turned away, bringing up the hand holding the shattered holo device to shield her eyes. 

"Well, you never heard of knocking?!" Elliott shot back, grabbing the closest thing to hand to preserve his modesty. Ajay was already shutting the door, but it seemed that Tae Joon hadn't even noticed her, he was so absorbed in his work.

Finally he looked up. "There. Done. Um, Elliott?"

"Mm?" Elliott replied distractedly, still staring in mild horror at the door. 

"What the hell are you doing to Nessie?"


End file.
